ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
