Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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