i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
