So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
