You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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