I think scott just propositioned me for sex
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
