Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
