you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
