Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
