Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
