I'm jealous of your bromance
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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