whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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