just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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