Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
