A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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