dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize