i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
