So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
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i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
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Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize