She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
