Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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