is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
