I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize