He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
