You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
