we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
