Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
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Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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