My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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