She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
whose parrot is this?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
