Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
