ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
