I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
