I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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