I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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