hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
