Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
operation have a gay friend backfired
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
