hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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