I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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