well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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