I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
