my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
