And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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