The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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