Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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