That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
