How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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