if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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