Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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