im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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