I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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