I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
