Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
