i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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