okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
