omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How naked do you want me to be?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
