True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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