I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
