Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
