just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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