come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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