Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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