bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
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My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
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Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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