That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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