Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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