he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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