just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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