I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Randomize
