Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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