I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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