wakey wakey hands off snakey
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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