i think my tv is drunk
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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