Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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